Cactus Samba
by Calico Yorki
Summary: Kokonoe and Tager are on a mission - And this mission includes a truck, progressive rock, Tager's contemplation of a spectacle, battle, and a surprise guest! I believe the current rating is sufficient.


Hot.

It was _so fucking hot._

Gingerly picking up a rag, attempting not to somehow tear it to shreds with his massive gauntlets, Tager dabbed at the sweat beading across his crimson forehead. Normally, he had no problem with the ridiculous vest that Kokonoe forced him to wear - But when they were in hot places, like the desert they found themselves in, Tager had to bite back complaints on the thing. He peered around for Kokonoe...

...

"...Hmph."

Tager let out a simple grunt he had mastered. Just indistinguishable enough that Kokonoe wouldn't be annoyed, unlike - _Heaven forbid_ - A sigh or a chuckle. Rubbing a knuckle on the flickering choker around his neck, Tager gazed on Kokonoe as she tinkered around with her huge truck's motor. Tager knew she'd have it fixed in about..._Eh, I'll just say three minutes and twenty-seven seconds; not too idealistic a guess, _he thought to himself.

That monstrosity, with its six wheels, armor plating, flatbed-plus-seat for Tager to sit in, tracking missiles, decals showing a flaming cat's head with angular sunglasses, and obnoxiously loud radio currently blaring some kind of progressive rock, was Kokonoe's favorite land vehicle; she and the truck had long ago come to an understanding...The monstrosity would only break down while they were out of danger, inexplicably, though fortunately. In return, Kokonoe wouldn't do what she had done to the last vehicle to break down in the midst of dangerous creatures: Set it on autopilot facing a cliff and jump out.

No, Tager was certain that they'd be up and ready to go again in no time...It was that Kokonoe had opted for a tight, sleevelss white shirt. The little demon seemed to care little that Tager didn't have the luxury of choosing white in hot, sunny climates. _Nope_, Tager was going to sit on the rock in his uniform, red, dark red, dark gray, and _black_, without a word of complaint. This was how it was, this was how it would be. Anyways, the significance was that Tager had forgotten what Kokonoe looked like from behind without her labcoat...

Her ass wasn't exactly built like an Amazon's, but that didn't matter with how far down her pants fell. Truthfully, Tager hadn't felt an attraction to a woman for ages, and while he had once entertained fantasies about his superior - In a far different time, when he knew much less about Kokonoe and was far more reckless in his words and actions - He just didn't feel anything in particular about Kokonoe's backside. But with the portion of her hips displayed, and with the straps and _more_ of her thong underwear fully exposed, it was hard to look away for _certain_ reasons. Tager had no sexual affections for Kokonoe...

...But something about the spectacle of her backside waggling around in the air, hanging half-out of her red jeans and heavy belt, hugged by _this_ mission's zebra-pattern thong, was just too amusing to _not_ watch. Her twin tails lashing about completed the scene perfectly. Finally tearing his eyes away from Kokonoe's posterior, Tager looked around them...

Cactus, dirt, rock, cactus, dirt, rock, cactus, dirt, rock...Not much to see. Kokonoe had said she picked up news about an..._Interesting_ set of subjects, and had developed chokers linked to her truck to make sure that they wouldn't be too seriously affected by seithr. Thus, Tager had been forced to share the truckbed with three bulky, cylindrical objects, with **DC3** printed on them - Tager knew from experience that the acronym stood for 'Dimensional Capture and Containment Cylinder'; it had taken only a couple of minutes to piece it together out of the _eight_ minutes he was trapped in one, during which Kokonoe did God-knows-what in her glee after the first successful capture. Tager would like to know exactly what Kokonoe was leading him into, but had a feeling that it was better he didn't know.

Finally, Tager heard a loud _clang!_ and a familiar voice. "Phew! Alright, Tager, rest stop's over. Pack your ass back into your seat, and don't put a _scratch_ on the Cylinders!" Tager stood up and turned just in time to see Kokonoe slam the door and start revving the engine. Lumbering as fast as he could to the truckbed, Tager prepared mentally for whatever awaited himself and Kokonoe.

...

Driving, driving, driving. From kicking up trails of sand to spitting rocks out from under the tires, Tager saw many things. A swift-blowing storm, far off to the side, traveling parallel and opposite to the truck's path...A huge, distant city, mostly obscured by the mountain it sat on, enwrapped by white, poofy clouds...A small, bipedal, very strange dog-thing, with white fur, round head, and some kind of drill on its nose. It stared straight at him with its little black eyes, shivering. As it took its lollipop out of its mouth, Tager swore he could hear it wail something after him:

"Puun~"

...

"...Kokonoe? Can you tell me what the _hell_ that was?"

"That, Tager, is the Rave Bearer. We all just let him do what he wants, as it's thanks to him that Sinclaire was destroyed, saving an alternate dimension."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Look, just forget about it. _He's not going to hurt you, Tagey-Wagey._"

"So you're saying that thing didn't creep you out _at all?_"

"...I'll admit. He used to cause me nightmares."

"Well, let's just hope he stays out here, away from any cities. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

With that concluded, the two fell silent while driving. At the moment, Kokonoe's progressive rock had shifted to an apparent Japanese band.

Meanwhile, the small dog..._Thing_ stood on the trail left behind by Kokonoe's truck..."Puun." They were going towards _that_ monstrosity..."Puun." They could handle the fledglings, but the mother would not go down easily. "Puun." Sticking the lollipop back in his mouth, he started walking/toddling after them at a snail's pace.

"Puun."

...

_With the kids sing out the future,_

_Maybe kids don't need the masters!_

_Just waiting for the little busters,_

_Oh yeeeah, yeah yeah yeah!_

At the steering wheel, Kokonoe drummed her fingers to the beat of the song currently playing. Tager couldn't hear Kokonoe's drumming, as she had recently turned the volume up blaringly loud. Gazing far behind the truck, Tager could swear that a small, disturbingly familiar figure tailing them in the distance...

_Ker-THUNK!_

"Urk!"

However, the abrupt full-stop and silence left behind by the engine being shut off jolted Tager. Knowing what Kokonoe would want, Tager flipped a switch beside of himself, turning his seat and folding down a ramp. Lugging one of the Cylinders, Tager carefully stepped down to the sandy desert ground and looked ahead...

What Tager saw stunned him into silence, even as Kokonoe circled around and positioned herself quite a distance behind him. Sighing heavily, he leveled the Cylinder like Kokonoe had showed him earlier..."I figured there'd be something like this."

_KREEEEE! KREEEEE!_

Firing on reflex, the Cylinder that Tager carried launched a rather donut-shaped pulse of pale blue, semi-transparent energy. Hitting the approaching beast in the chest, this blast proceeded to siphon the creature into the Cylinder with a stream of silvery particle matter. After that, the Cylinder's opening was closed by a valve and a red light blinked on. Following this, the light turned green with a serene, female voice's declaration: _Subject contained and stabilized._

Setting the cylinder back into the nearby truck, Tager got ready for a brawl..."Not the most fragrant of creatures, I see." He gave a mirthless chuckle, grabbing the nearest beast by the face. Electrifying his hand, the monstrosity's dry green flesh, with numerous needles, was fried to a crisp black. Another creature - Mouth lined with needle-like teeth, and two large, prickled lobes in place of eyes and ears - Tried to pounce on him, but a massive punch blew the creature in two right through the abdomen.

There were about nine or ten more of the cactus-beasts, and they were just as easily defeated. Then, Tager noticed the large fissure ahead...He hadn't given it much notice, but the beasts had gotten much more aggressive when he took a step near it...Suddenly, Kokonoe shouted - "DAMMIT! Let _go of me!_" Spinning around, Tager saw a couple of huge vines wrapping around his superior. Before he could advance, a huge force impacted the back of his head.

Stumbling with a groan, Tager locked eyes with Kokonoe - The look of rising fear in her eyes enraged him in a way that he had almost forgotten. Roaring, he launched a Spark Bolt that caused one tentacle to release Kokonoe. Unfortunately, another impact knocked him down and out. Kokonoe snarled at this, fighting with all of her might; however, several flowers started sprouting on the vines.

A sweet scent reached Kokonoe's nose, instantly weakening her...Groaning, she continued kicking, but soon found her struggling getting even weaker. A vine wrapped around her ankle, tugging on her - This resulted in her pants being yanked down to her knees. Struggling with new energy, Kokonoe nonetheless was brought to the chasm's edge...Inside was a huge, spined shape, with a massive set of jaws. At least four tongues reached out for her, glistening with saliva as Kokonoe froze up...

"Puun!"

_Sklch sklch sklch sklch!_

"Huh...!" Dropping to the ground with a thud, Kokonoe immediately stumbled to her feet and yanked her pants up much farther than before, tightening the belt as far as she could. Looking around, Kokonoe searched for her savior...Her face dropped even further at the sight. "...Huh."

Toddling to the edge of the chasm, Plue looked down..."Puun." Showing no fear at the sight of the creature, the Rave Bearer's horn started to glow. Multitudes of silver-white streams started to gather at the tip, as Kokonoe watched with intrigue - It would seem that he had developed some kind of new abilities, perhaps due to the seithr...!

"PUUUUUN!" With that yell, a spear of silver light was launched out at incredible speed. Lancing into the giant cactus-beast, the following explosion and pillar of silvery fire into the air left chunks of singed flesh falling to the ground. Approaching the little creature, Kokonoe knelt down and lifted Plue close to her face..."Puun." He gave her a little lick on the nose.

Kokonoe smiled widely...All sorts of ideas for studies and applications of this little guy's abilities danced around her mind...

"Heh heh heeeh~! You're riding shotgun - We'll just wait for Tager to be done with his nap."

"Puun~"


End file.
